Emotional Intelligence
The transition was not easy. Literally, everything changed in a single conversation, days away from what was supposed to be a momentous occasion. Instead the day will be remembered for apple picking, hot fresh cider, donuts, and too much wine on the patio of Jefferson. I recall driving to Charlottesville that morning, a beautiful Fall day, latte in hand, music telling me it was all okay.
As I made the transition to co-parenting, I had only cried twice since that conversation. Once for me and once for Babybeez. That's the thing, I wasn't just carrying the grief for myself, but for my son. Neither of us wanted this to be how things turned out, but LIFE. It comes at you fast and you have to be able to deal with problems head-on. Once I figured out how to do that, things were a lot clearer. Filling my cup so I could pour into my son was what sustained me. Talking/writing about things help me process and making time for my self-care has allowed me to get to where I am. I found what worked for me and I would encourage anyone reading to do the same.
Good emotional intelligence is a great skill to master. In certain situations some folks have a better grip on it than others and yet those same situations are handled differently by each person.
Mommin' is already tough, but to be able to give Babybeez 100% when I was trying to heal was next level hard, but I managed.
I know it is important to teach Babybeez the same kind of emotional intelligence, so he can be a fully formed human, as said by Michelle Obama. Initially, he experienced some emotional distress when he recognized things were different—waking in the middle of the night, crying spells, all normal for a toddler. However, I wasn't ready for the 'I want my daddy"... I couldn't fix that for him and I died a little each time his little voice uttered those words. Today, my son can articulate his feelings (about all the things including how mommy is mean for winning a race I knew nothing about); it makes me proud that he isn’t hesitant to talk about what is bothering him. Emotional stability during his childhood years will shape his adult life.
Each day my new normal became a little easier because I remained grounded and practiced self-love. I showed up daily for myself and it spilled over to my son.
I know there are many single moms out there who pull it together daily to make things possible. You ARE the real MVP. Don’t forget to love on yourself so you can be the best version of yourself for YOURSELF and those who love you.
